Cloaked in Quietness

 Most of my life people (family/friends/peers) have perceived me as a person that has a quiet nature. In my experience there is a misconception associated with quietness, with being timid, a lack of boldness, and/or strong leadership skills.  As I read through the book the "Artist Way" by Julia Cameron, I have learned that I wear my quietness as a cloak.  The picture that comes to mind is the cloak of invisibility often mentioned in the Harry Potter series that allowed Harry to quietly observe situations so he could effect change. I observe life cloaked under the character trait quietness. It has gifted me with the ability to discern the true character of an individual that has masked their true nature in order to achieve their goals and aspirations.  Unfortunately, it has placed some hurdles in my path that has followed me from my early childhood into my adult life which is detailed below.

 The first experience that I recalled was when I was in elementary school.   I wanted to perform the speaking part of my grade level's Christmas speech. I am not sure if it is important to mention that I was the only one who wanted to perform the speech.  Still, my Teacher had reservations about me being quiet and would I be able to speak with confidence and boldness.  My teacher fail to recognize although I was quiet I was not timid. I recall being asked repeatedly are you sure you want to say this speech. Today, I can see myself standing on the podium and the excitement of my teacher as I walked off the stage.  Was there a paradigm shift; only time would tell?

Later, my choir teacher was holding auditions for an end of the year school play. I missed the original auditions but circumstances allowed for a singing part to open up. The desire to sing was a huge part of who I was when I was growing up.  The audition was held during class.  This was not just any song but a 1^st soprano part that required the soloist to hit a very high note (Aquarius by the Fifth Dimension).  With my hand in the air, I watched classmate after classmate walk to the front of the room.  I listen to the laughter and the comments made as each person made the walk of shame back to their seats. I felt as if I was the last players standing after selections were made for a big game.  Finally, my name was called and I could feel everyone eyes upon me as I slowly made my way to the front of the class.  The music began to play and the dreaded note was quickly approaching. I sang with confidence and I heard and exclamation of sheer joy as I hit that note.  Did I receive the part?  Yes, along with the 5 other classmates that auditioned for the part.   Due to my quiet nature, my choir teacher wasn't confident that I would be able perform the song alone. 

This subject has been weighing heavy on my heart.  How did this misconception effect me has a person?  I know from my experiences that who I am is not defined by people’s perception of me but how I see myself.  Yes, I have had to push past others misconceptions by keeping my hand in the air a little longer than others. But the look of surprise on people’s face satisfies any discomfort felt doing the experience. Today, I am speaking for all the quiet nature people.  Being outspoken does not guarantee boldness and a quiet nature is not an indicator of weakness nor having a timid character.

This blog reflect my opinion; may God richly bless you.